Originally posted on BlackGirlBliss.com

Do you know someone who seems to always be in a relationship? Someone who’s never without a date or a lineup of attractive suitors waiting in the wings? Do they seem to have a Build-a-Bae workshop in their basement where they just churn out new boos as needed?

Whether intentional or not, this has nothing to do with attractiveness, popularity, or how often they go out on the town. More than likely, these types of people know what it takes to manifest who they’d like to spend time with. 

If you’re reading this, it’s safe to assume you’re interested in manifesting love and attraction into your life. All it requires is paying attention to your intention and remembering that “like attracts like” and what you put out into the Universe, you get back.


Release doubt, fear, and unworthiness. If you don’t believe that you deserve to find or attract love into your life, you won’t. If you think that there’s no one out there for you or that you’ve run out of chances, then that will be true for you. If you fear opening yourself up to finding love in whatever way you most desire it, then that fear with keep what you want most away from you.

Work on your past issues. If you know that you have issues that have arisen while in previous relationships, or things you need to heal from that occurred in past relations, do that work before you seek out new love, or you risk repeating or reliving these same negative experiences in your new relationship. Be patient and loving with yourself. You want to give yourself the same energy and attention you want from someone else. 

Get clear about what you want. Some people will tell you that you can’t choose how love shows up or what your perfect lover might be like, but as a co-creator with the Universe, anything is possible. Write down all of the attributes you want your lover to have. Be extremely specific and don’t allow yourself to feel guilty or petty or unrealistic about what is possible to find in a person. Visualize this person, what it feels like to be in their presence, the things they’ll say and do, etc.

Remember, there is no shortage of people in the world, and your job is not to concern yourself with how or where this person shows up. All you need to do is decide who you want to attract and manifest into your life. 

Make sure it feels good. Remember that love does not equal struggle. If the person you’re dealing with or the situations you have been in have not felt good, or have felt like an uphill battle that hasn’t produced many results, be done with it. 

Pay attention to your intuition. When you find yourself meeting new people, pay attention to the things your gut is telling you. If you feel uncomfortable, unsafe, or just generally uninterested, take this as a sign that this is not the person who aligns with your desires.

Remain open. While there is no limit to what the Universe can provide, you may also be surprised at how perfect someone could be for you even if they don’t initially present as someone you would consider. See, the Divine has a different vantage point than you do. You can list out what you want in a partner from what you’ve seen and experienced. Know that the Universe will bring you exactly what you want or exactly what you need, and both will be better than anything your could dream of. Let go of expectations and let the Universe bring you love. 

Get busy. Once you have put your intentions out there to attract the love that you want, you have things you need to do. Sitting around and waiting for your new bae to knock at the door is not going to work. You need to become the person you want to attract. “Like attracts like”, remember? If you want a patient lover, work on being more patient with the people in your life. If you want an adventurous and spontaneous lover, figure out how to add more adventure in your life, either on your own or with your friends.

Just generally, if you want to meet people, you have to go where the people are. Go do the things you love to do (you’re going to need things to talk about when you start going on those dates). Take the classes you’ve been wanting to take, go on the trips you’ve had on your Pinterest forever. Delve into hobbies. These are the things that makes a person interesting and attractive. And who knows, you might meet your new boo at the airport, at the bookstore, or sitting beside you at the next Sip and Paint you attend. 

Good luck!

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