In my early twenties I used to be scared of the d…. was admittedly very shy when it came to expressing my sexual needs and wants to my partners. I was overly concerned about potentially being labeled a slut or a hoe. But now, I understand that these terms are used to shame sexually liberated women, and I’m happy to say I am no longer afraid of being myself in the bedroom.

This newfound freedom arrived after I became a mother. I spend the majority of my time catering to the needs of my daughter—and chile, I realized Muva craves someone to take care of my needs.

Even if you’re childless, I’m sure you’ve become used to nurturing others. Women have been conditioned in many ways to focus on everyone but themselves. We’re more likely to be employed in the service/helping/care sectors and have essentially been trained by corporate America, our families, and society at large to put our needs last, especially when it comes to sex and pleasure.

But here’s the deal: We are not only here to make babies and be a tool for someone else’s satisfaction. We are not meant to only engage in sex to please our partners. Friends, it’s a new era, and it’s time to put that WAP on a platter and serve it up!

I know what you’re thinking. “I got so much going on! I’m not who I used to be. How do I get my groove back?”

best friends squad GIF by Insecure on HBO

I got you, boo! Here are some of the steps I’ve taken to explore my sexuality after becoming a mommy:

Dance Fashion GIF by Amazon Prime Video

Bmo GIF by Ari Lennox

Are you a muva? How did you get your sexy back after the baby? If you are not a mommy, but you live a very busy life — how do you make time for pleasure? I wanna hear from all of the certified freaks in the comments!

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