Social media is cracking down on sexual content, again, leaving sex educators and sex workers out in the cold. Many creators have left the platforms for more open sites like Patreon and OnlyFans where they can maintain a life for themselves and continue to engage with the communities that support work. For those who still embrace Instagram, Twitter and the like, there’s still concern about how and why they’re cracking down in the first place.
Sadé De Amor, a BDSM Practitioner & Tantric Healer, sat down with Temple Indigo to clear the air on why embracing sexual content (that discusses consent and informs the public) is particularly important.
Here’s the first entry of an ongoing interview series where Black women tell us what social media sites are getting wrong in the midst of their crackdowns.
1. How have you used social media platforms to amplify your voice as a BDSM Practitioner & Tantric Healer?
I have been educating my followers on social media on the truths of BDSM, because when we learn these truths, they liberate us. I’m all about sexual liberation.
2. Have you felt supported by social media platforms in maintaining your career? If so/not, then how do you hope they’ll rise to the occasion?
So far I have felt supported, because my accounts haven’t been impacted by the crackdown. Maybe because I follow the guidelines (which are still ridiculous). We shouldn’t have to follow guidelines. We own our fucking bodies, we should be able to do what we want with them on our accounts as long as we’re not hurting ourselves or others.
3. When did you become a BDSM Practitioner & Tantric Healer? What interested you in that career path?
[I became a practitioner and tantric healer] professionally, over a year ago, but I’ve been practicing BDSM and tantric healing in my lifestyle for a few years. We build energy in BDSM in the same way that we build energy in tantra. I wanted to help others liberate themselves sexually and create a safe space where people can be themselves, talk about their kinks and experiment with them while surrendering.
4. What do you feel are your responsibilities as a BDSM Practitioner & Tantric Healer?
I would say to educate others on what BDSM is not. Many think that BDSM is violence, but it’s really not because violence is not consensual whereas BDSM depends upon consent. Something else that a lot of people don’t know is that pain is not a part of every experience. For example, role play can and can not be centered around pain.
My responsibilities are also, when I’m topping, to check-in on my bottom’s emotional, physical and mental safety throughout the entire session and provide aftercare (especially when I’m working with a new submissive). It’s also important for me to teach others about consent. One yes doesn’t mean a yes every time.
Lastly, as a BDSM Practitioner, it’s important for me to stay on top of my self-care so that I can do the same for my play partners. Power sharing in BDSM is consensual as well, you can not share your power if you do not OWN your power.
5. How do you use social media content as a tool to enhance your career?
I use it to build community. It can be used to find mentors, potential clients, to connect with more members and support systems within the BDSM world. We women in BDSM support one another – there’s no competition; it’s all just empowerment.
6.Have any of your colleagues been affected by the crackdown and how?
Thankfully, no, they haven’t.
7. How do you hope to impact social media platforms and people who misunderstand/disapprove of your work?
I think those people are misinformed and may be sexually repressed, so I hope to change that through helping them realize that BDSM is a form of expression. There’s so much stigma and taboo around it particularly around being a Black woman and enjoying kink so I’m here to destigmatize that through conversation.
8. What is a common misunderstanding about your work and the purpose of your content on social media?
A misunderstanding about my work is that people who are interested in exploring BDSM are survivors of sexual trauma when in reality they come from all sorts of backgrounds. There’s also the assumption that people who are interested struggle with depression or other psychological disorders, but research studies have found that BDSM Practitioners are better off psychologically than the general public.
9.How can people educate themselves?
- Reading: A book that’s great for beginners is: SM 101 by Jay Wiseman. For the more advanced, there’s Screw The Roses, Send Me The Thorns: The Romance And Sexual Sorcery of Sadomasochism by Philip Miller & Molly Devon
- Joining BDSM Pracitioners and sex educators on Patreon or Clubhouse and supporting them there
- Joining virtual kink play parties
- Going to workshops, even virtual ones
- Following them on social media
You can make an appointment to go see a BDSM Practitioner at a dungeon and they can show you how to further explore your kinks safely and comfortably.
- What are your thoughts on sex educators and people who work in the industry leaving social media platforms to establish followings on OnlyFans/Patreon?
I feel like people should do what’s best for themselves. OnlyFans and Patreon gives sex educators and people in the industry more liberty to do, say and post as they see fit. At the same time, they can also charge for their work so FUCK YEAH. Do what you gotta do for you, boo!
Sadé De Amor is a sexually liberated Professional and Lifestyle Switch and Tantric Healer helping others reclaim their sexual liberation by creating space for people to be themselves…whether that’s sharing sex stories or giving advice on how to express desires to a partner or allowing space for consensual BDSM play or tantric healing.
The way she sees it….helping others pursue and embrace their sexual liberation journey can only have a positive impact on our society. She aspires to touch the lives of countless women and men especially in the communities of color where (for the most part) simply talking about sex is still considered taboo, let alone BDSM and Tantra.